


Willl You Listen to the Song I Wrote While Thinking of You?

by keidesu



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: F/M, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2020-11-28 07:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20962424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keidesu/pseuds/keidesu
Summary: Cho Seungyoun and Lee Aria are best friends and song writing partners. Seungyoun is in love with music while Aria is in love with her bestfriend, Seungyoun.Will the truth shaken their friendship or will it even shake Seungyoun's heart who only has music in it?





	1. Cho Seungyoun: a Man of Talents, a Man of Many Different Charm

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter here is a collection of different parts. Idk how many chapters/parts it'll be. But I will be very happy if somebody will actually read this.

【Part One】  
<ａｒｉａ>

"Hey!"   
I heard this familiar voice calls from a distance as I walk down the school corridor followed by the sound of running footsteps. Then, I felt him grab my arm. "Oi, Aria. Turned def, huh?"

"No. I heard you loud and clear, Seungyoun." I gave him a teasing smile in which he replied back with his own signature smile. His eyes turned two small crescents. "I was just about to leave for work."

"Don't kid me. Your part time starts at 5."

I look at my watch. It's only 3pm.   
"Oh. I didn't noticed."

"Just as I thought. So, I wrote a new song. I want you to hear it." His face is beaming with joy and excitement.

Cho Seungyoun has always loved music. In a young age he was already able to create his own song. And up until now, he still continues to right more. Because of unknown twist of fate, we became partners in writing songs and creating music. People around us know us as best friends. 

I followed him to the university's Music Club Room, where he's part of the club along with 10 other students and they call themselves X1.

Our university is a well-known music and arts school in this country that's why the facilities and equipments are top of the class. As well as the members of this X1 music club. They are what one would call elite students. They are excellent as long as music and performing are concern plus their beauty is to die for. 

"Hello, guys." Seungyoun announces as he opens the door of the clubroom. Turning annoyingly as he enters. 

"Oh he's here."  
"Seungyoun is here"  
Everybody suddenly became excited. 

"Aria's here with me too." 

"Hi Aria."

"Seungwoo oppa, hello. Sorry for suddenly barging in again." I gave him an apologetic smile.

"No need to apologize. You're always welcome here you know. And I totally know that Seungyoun dragged you here."

"You guys are totally inseparable." Lee Hangyul chimed in, putting his arms over Seungyoun and my shoulder. 

"No were not." I replied, defensively.

Seungyoun took off Hangyul's arms from my shoulder then he walked towards the guitar resting on the wall. He carefully lifted it up. "I have new song. I want Aria to hear it first."

I felt a quick thump in my chest. 

"But we're here too, in case you didn't notice." This time it's Kim Wooseok.

As if Seungyoun didn't hear what Wooseok said, he begun strumming the guitar. Everyone became silent and the only thing you can hear in the room is his music.

【Part Two】  
<ａｒｉａ>

I can still recall the memory of our first meeting. It's so vivid as if it was just yesterday. But no, we know each other for a long time, we've been friends since then.  
And I enjoy and love every moments of us together. 

'5 Years Ago'  
I am on my way home from school when I saw a little commotion in front of the mansion-like house near our home. There are 6 boys gathered together as if planning to do some illegal act. Their school uniform give away who they are. Boys from the nearby private school. 

I placed my earphones back into my ears then decided to ignore them as I pass by. But then out of the blue, I felt a body crashed into mine. It was quite intense and sudden that I fell on my butt. 

It’s painful.   
At that moment, I really want to kick those boys for not watching their surroundings but I couldn't even stand up.   
I groan in dismay. 

"Ah. Look where you're going. It's your fault." The guy who bumped into me said. 

The audacity!

"Hey. Are you okay?" A soft voice of a guy suddenly caught my attention. He was wearing the same uniform as the other boys but his aura is somewhat different. Maybe it's in the tone of his voice when he talked to me. There's no hint of arrogance or callousness just pure worry.   
"Can you stand?" He extended his hand to me. 

I warily took his hand then he helped me get up from the ground I'm slumped into. This guy scanned my body as if looking for anymore serious injury. Then he bent down to pick up my bag and my phone laying on the floor.

"I'm okay. Thank you."

"Hey. At least apologize to her." This kind guy called out the person who bumped into me.

"Seungyoun, we don't do that here." Another boy spoke.

"Huh?!" This Seungyoun guy glared at this boy.

"Uhm, I'm okay. No need for apology." Somehow, I could feel this turning into a war.

"No. They should apologize to you. Now." He kept giving the rude guy a dirty look.

I've never seen anyone get so angry for me. I don't know what to feel or do. 

Rude guy turned to my direction but isn't looking at me. "Sorry." He spit the word out. Then he turned to look at Seungyoun-guy, “Happy?!"

Then all the other boys marched away spouting words like "B*stard" and "F*cker" loud enough so we could hear. 

"You really didn't have to do that for me." I said. "'Your friends might get angry at you."

"Nah. I just did what should be done. Besides they aren't even my friends."

Oh?  
I don't know what to say anymore. He helped me so I should at least be a bit considerate.

"I'm sorry but I think I saw blood on your right leg, you might have scratched it on the ground. Let's go inside and clean it up first."

"What?" I consciously glanced at my right leg. That's only when I felt the pain from the cut. "Ah, no. My house is actually nearby. I'll just clean it at home."

"Please? Let me treat it as an apology too."  
He was staring at me like a lost puppy. I can't turn away from those eyes.

"O-okay. But just for a little while..."

【Part Three】  
<ａｒｉａ>

This kid literally said that he'll treat my wound but there he is sitting across from me fooling around with a guitar.

When we entered his house, I was astounded by how spacious it is and there are appliances and furnitures I see for the first time. This guy's family is indeed well off. Well, we soon were greeted by this beautiful lady Seungyoun called mom. She's really beautiful and she also seems kind. 

All this year's embarrassment seems to rush into me as Seungyoun's mom carefully cleans my wounds. The sting from the alcohol can't match to the embarrassment I'm feeling right now. As soon as she's done, she asked me to stay and have a drink. At first I tried to tell her that I'm fine and I'll be going home but she insisted. I find it really hard to reject other people's kindness. 

"What's your name?" Finally he remembered that I'm still here. 

"Aria Lee."

"I'm Cho Seungyoun."

"I know." I muttered.

His expression quickly changed. His brows are now drawn together and his eyes squinting at me as if waiting for an explanation. 

"I heard the guy from earlier called you that."

I heard him snorted. I just can't help but look at this guy in disbelief. This guy is weird.   
"I see. I see. Hey Aria, do you like music?"

"Hmmm... I bit. Why?" Seungyoun's mom came back holding a tray. She carefully placed 2 cups and a plate of assorted biscuits over the table in front of me. I thanked her. 

"Seungyoun suddenly became interested in creating music. And kept talking about how he wanted to become an artist."  
She said giggling.

"Mom, Idol." He corrected. 

"Yes. Yes. Idol. So I'll leave you guys here and have a chat. If you need anything just call me, okay？"

"Like my mom said, I am trying to compose a song. I still suck at it tho. Come on Aria, would you listen to my new music？"

"Huh？But I know nothing aboutー"

"It's fine. Just listen and say what you think about it. 'kay？"

I nodded in defeat. When I raised a look on him, he's already smiling from ear to ear. 

He started strumming his guitar, and as he plays with the cords, we were both drawn into this music he's creating. It suddenly pass through my mind that It's also the first time someone plays an instrument for me. 

The music has come to an end after a couple of minutes, at least. He looks satisfied and he's already eager to hear my response.

"Uhm... it's good. I like it."

"Really？Come on you can be honest with me. I actually like it when people are honest with me. So what do you really think?"

I gathered my thoughts, and courage, for a minute. "It was really good but... I think the chorus part is a little off?"

"Hmm? You think so too? I kinda knew the chorus is off but somehow I'm stuck." He sighed as he strummed the cords in one swift motion. 

"I don't know if it'll help but maybe you could go with something like this..." I hummed the chorus of the music he just played in a slightly different tempo, changing a few notes here and there, but I tried to keep the whole vibes of the song. "Well, i don't know. I'm not that knowledgeable in music anyways. So, I have to go now. Please give my thanks to your mom, Cho Seungyoun."

"Wait Aria! Let's create music together!"

【Part Four】  
<ａｒｉａ>

"Oh boi, look at the sky. It's getting dark."  
It might rain real soon so I quicken up my pace. I'll be in trouble if i get caught in the rain since I didn't have my umbrella with me. 

"Oh Aria, still here？ I thought you went home early." As I'm about to leave the campus my classmate, Lee Jinhyuk, appeared before me.

"Yeah. I thought the same too but Seungyoun caught me and dragged me to the club room."

"That so?"

"How 'bout you? You left something?" 

"Yeah. I left Wooseok." He suddenly laughed hard. That made me smile too. They are childhood friends and it seems like no one can separate those two. "Actually, I forgot my notes in my locker and I have to prepare for the presentation."

"Ah! Right. I need to prepare for that too."

"Aria." It's Seungyoun again. Before I could notice he's already standing beside me giving Jinhyuk a friendly smile. "Hey Jinhyuk."

"Yo, Seungyoun." He said such a simple greeting to Seungyoun then back at me. "Anyways, It might rain very soon so you better hurry, Aria. Sorry for dragging you too long."

"No worries Jinhyuk."

"Take care." He waved bye to me then a nod to Seungyoun.

I stare at Seungyoun as I wonder why this guy is here. He's supposed to spend more time at the club room since he brought his guitar with him to school. 

"What is it?" He asks.

I shrug then I start walking. He follows quickly after me. "Nothing. Just wondering it's too early for you to go home you know."

"Ahh... I just forgot to tell you earlier..." I wait for him to continue what he's about to say but he's staring somewhere far ahead. "You're quite close with Lee Jinhyuk, huh?"

"Of course we're basically classmates to almost all our lectures." He's asking about Jinhyuk now? What gives? They're friends too. "I'm quite close with Wooseok too if you're going to ask."

"I didn't noticed that before."

"Really? Well, we don't have lectures together so I guess that's the reason."

We we're always walking side by side but he has always been out too far from my reach. At this moment, I don't understand why it feels like the distance between us is slowly closing. My heart races with that thought. Is it okay to get my hopes up?

I am lucky enough to have Cho Seungyoun as a friend. Any more than that is too much to ask. I might lose him or I might not if he came to know about how I feel and yet I'm not brave enough to risk everything.

"Ah. So, I followed you Aria because I forgot to tell you that I want you to write the lyrics for my new song as always."

Of course, we're not just best friends, we're also music making partners. 

"Even though you're good with writing the lyrics too?"

The thunder roared once.

"Hmmm? But I made that music for you."

【Part Five】  
<ａｒｉａ>

"Hmmm? But I made that music for you." 

Cho Seungyoun said it nonchalantly. He said those words to me many times before but every time, every single time, it hit straight to my heart.   
I'm weak to this part of him...

How his eyes shines the brightest when talking about music.   
How he smiles so lovingly when listening to the songs we made.   
How making music makes him the happiest.

But I have to get a hold of myself. I have to remind myself every time that he just means what he said, nothing more nothing less. 

Suddenly, rain started falling but Seungyoun was quick enough to open his umbrella. Both of us took cover under his umbrella but it's big enough for just one person and Seungyoun is a rather big guy.

We continue walking despite the heavy downpour.  
"Send me the audio file later..." I say.

Another smile plays on his lips. "Of course! What time are you going out from work?"

"Hmmm... 8pm. Why?"

"Should I pick you up?"

"Nah. No need. 8pm is still early you know."

"Okay, if you say so Miss Aria Lee. I'll send the file to you later so send me a message if you're home."

"Okay."

I noticed I never felt a single rain drop on me despite being under a small umbrella with this big guy. I glance up to Seungyoun only to find his left sleeve is drench from the rain. He looks unbothered by it tho. His guitar case hanging on his left shoulder is also drenched.

"Seungyoun..." I leaned the umbrella more towards him so that his guitar will also be under it. 

"Hmmm?" Seungyoun noticed my intention. "It's fine, Aria." he said tilting the umbrella back towards me. 

\---  
As soon as I left work, I sent a message to Seungyoun.  
'Im heading home. Send the file now so I could listen to it as soon as I arrive home.'

'OK. Take care on your way home.' His reply is instant as if he's on his phone. 

The night feels good and the cool wind against my skin, somehow, relieves the loneliness and anxiety I've been trying to hide. During nights like this when I take my time walking home from work. I could also use the time thinking about what kind of lyrics will I make for Seungyoun's music. 

I heard it earlier and, as always, his music is undeniably beautiful. It will never be difficult to put words into his music. 

We make our songs like this: Most of the time (since he happens to have lots of time while I have to work) Seungyoun composes the music then I will write the lyrics for it, sometimes we do it together when we're both not busy, and he also writes the rap parts of the song. 

Aside from composing music and song writing, Cho Seungyoun is blessed with too much talent (the main reason why he's part of the elite group). His voice is really good and he could rap so d*mn well. 

A man of talents, A man of many different charms, Being part of the university's Elite Group, being kind and friendly, plus his handsome face, Cho Seungyoun is what one could call a 'perfect person' and a 'perfect boyfriend'.

He has lot of admirers in uni (I'd rather call them admirers than a fan). Every class and department knows his name. And because Seungyoun is a very friendly guy he also have lots of friends from every department, from every class. Even the professors likes him. 

There are also instances where girls confess their love for him.

<>


	2. I'm Selfish ain't I? But I Love You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aria wrote the lyrics for Seungyoun's music and poured all her love for him into it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stream Flash! :)))

【Part Six】   
<ａｒｉａ>

Those were the times when I envy those people who are not a 'bestfriend' to him. They could freely say how much they admire and love Cho Seungyoun. They have nothing to lose. Even though he rejects them just as freely and easily, he still smiles at them while saying 'Thank You'. And he still wish for them to support him and his music. And they all gladly did. They have nothing to lose.

We've talked about this kind of thing several times before. About liking or loving someone, dating and stuff. The first time we talked about it was when he was still a mere friend for me. He values these kind of things so much. He loves romance. He's a gentleman and a romantic one too. But...

"For now, what I love the most is music. And my priority is making more and more music until I'm satisfied. My mind is full of thoughts about having fun in creating my own songs, the fun of being with the people who loves music too and the fun of having people listen to my songs."

After a while, when I realized that I am slowly falling in love with him, I honestly tried to stop myself. I was a fool to believe I could but I tried anyway. I even tried to avoid him for a long time. But to my dismay, it had an opposite effect. I just miss him more and more and realized how much he completes my everyday, how much seeing him, hearing his voice, listening to his jokes, and making songs with him makes me happy. That morning I woke up missing him so bad I cried. And also because I know I'm doomed.

I can't do anything but hide my feelings for him. As his bestfriend I know well the consequences if I tried laying my feelings for him out in the open. So I hid it, until now.

But every once in a while I put them into the songs we make.  
My love for him.  
My fear of losing him.  
My pain in hiding this love.

Consequence of telling him my feelings?

Before, I used to convince myself that maybe he'll listen to me if I confess, considering how nice he is to me, or how sweet and protective he is to me. I kept giving meaning to the little things he do for me, so I thought "Ah... Maybe he'll like me too. Even a little."

That day I did consider to confess to him. I could feel my chest about to burst as I think about it, I don't know if it's because I'm nervous or because my love for him is overflowing.

"A girl from my class confessed to me earlier."

We we're at the studio in his house that time. He's teaching me more stuff about music. My hand was sweating as I waited for the right time to confess.

"What's new?" I scoffed trying to hide my surprise and discomfort. "You always reject them anyway." 

But he's surprisingly quiet.

"Don't tell me... You accepted her confession?" My heart was pounding so hard.   
Am I too late? Am I losing him?

"No!" This time he finally turned to look at me. "I rejected her but..."

I felt relieved with what he said but this is the first time I saw him troubled about a confession. "But?" 

"That girl... Is our school's, you know, queen or something. She's really beautiful and I heard she's smart and kind too. Lots of my friends like her. And envied me when they heard she confessed to me. But when I told them I rejected her, they we're quite shocked. They kept telling me that I should've accepted her confession and start to date her. They even said that we're a great match even tho they also like her."

There's a pang in my chest as I listen to everything he said. A school queen is indeed much more suitable to Cho Seungyoun than someone ordinary like me. I felt defeated and I wanted to cry but hold it back.

I forced myself to smile but it's more painful than I thought. "Maybe your friends are right. Why don't you date her?"

He sighed. "You know me, Aria. I love the idea of romance and being in love but I don't think I could devote myself to someone yet."

【Part Seven】  
<ａｒｉａ>

When I reached home, I immediately work on the song. I felt really inspired after my walk and after I reminisced about the past.

As I write each line all I think about is Seungyoun and what I feel for him. I want to release everything without holding back. I've been holding back all this time and for once I really want to let him know how much he means to me. It doesn't matter if he can't reciprocate my feelings. I just... Wanted him to know. Somehow.

I was so engulfed in the song that I didn't realized the time had passed. It was around 1am when I finished. I message Seungyoun that I'm done with the lyrics and the only thing left is for his rap part.

My stomach growled as I stare at my phone. I realize I haven't had dinner yet since I was so excited to start writing. I went to the kitchen to grab some left over dinner and brought it to my room to eat.

There's a message from Seungyoun: 'Hey, that was fast. It wasn't that urgent you know?"

'Hmm. It's fine. I was kinda inspired anyway.'

'You have morning class later, you should sleep now.'

'I'm eating dinner.' Then I sent a picture of my food.

He sent a 🤨 emoji first. 'Dinner? At this time?'

'hahaha yeah. I forgot to eat.'

'yes. That's funny, Aria Lee.'

'How 'bout you? Why are you still awake?'

'Just watching some drama... My class is in the afternoon anyway.'

'You really like that don't you?'

'Why?! It's good. Come watch with me here.'

Our house is near and it won't be a problem to come by to his house. I even used to stay really late in his room when we play or watch dramas and movies before. And Mrs. Cho accepts me well. She's really kind and she trusts us both.

'Nah. You won't let me sleep if I come by. You're really noisy while watching your dramas you know?'

'hahaha. Next time let's watch a movie together.'

'Only if it's your treat.'

'Stingy.' 

This is the privilege of being his best friend. Will I ever risk this?

We exchanged a few more messages before I went to sleep. I felt good and I hoped to see him in my dream.

\---  
The next day, Seungyoun asked me to sing the song I wrote in the X1 Music Room. To my surprise, the 11 members are there like it was set by someone. And by someone, I meant Cho Seungyoun.

It's not like I'm scared or shy, I've already sang infront of everyone before and we've also sang together. 

I took out my notebook, where I wrote lyrics, while Seungyoun played the audio through the speaker. I could see from everyone's face that they're excited to hear it. The music Seungyoun created is really good so it'll be a shame if I did a mediocre lyrics for it. That's the only pressure I could feel.

"Aria, just relax and just sing what you've written." Seungyoun whispered in my ear after he set up the speaker.

"I'm excited, Aria..." Wooseokie says as he smiles prettily.

The music starts playing. I've listened to it many times last night that I almost memorized it. With all my heart, I sing the song I wrote, trying my best to convey my feelings to Seungyoun without directly telling him. That's the only thing I could do. I'm a coward. I know. But who will not be scared if you're going to lose someone like Cho Seungyoun? 

I love you. More than friend.  
I need you. More than friend.  
Your smile. I want to be the reason.  
Your thoughts. I want to be there.  
I'm selfish, ain't I?  
But I love you.  
What could I do?  
Just this time,  
Could you please hear me?

When the music ended, it's as if I came back to my senses.  
I quickly glance at the people in the room. They are expressionless for a second and then they all just smile at me. Everyone approached me as they say words of complement that I can't hear. My eyes searched for Seungyoun and he was standing still. I could see a smile playing on his lips. He's looking at me. And I could see in his eyes that he loved what I've written.

【Part Eight】  
<ａｒｉａ>

"Aria that was beautiful!"  
"It's so good. Teach me the lyrics too."  
I was showered with complements in the last 30 minutes. After I sang the lyrics I've written. It made me happy but the fact that Seungyoun seemed to like it too is the only reaction I need. 

"Just as I thought. My Aria could write beautiful lyrics for my music." Seungyoun says as he ruffles my hair.

"My Aria?!" I retorted.

Seungwoo laughed. Then the others followed.

To my surprise, Hangyul came behind me and placed his arms over my shoulder.

"Sorry, Seungyounie. I'm gonna ask Aria for her hand right about now."

"You're not gonna beat me to it, Hangyul!" Yohan followed while laughing. "Aria, please go out with me..."

I looked over Seungyoun asking for his help but he was just laughing himself of. He loves it when I'm in this kind of circumstances. He's going to tease me about this for the whole week, for sure. 

"Hey guys, stop bothering Aria." It was Seungwoo-oppa, my savior. He came closer to take off Hangyul's arm on my shoulder.

"Thank you, Seungwoo-oppa..." But to my surprise, he then took my hand carefully squeezing it with his. He's looking and smiling at me in a sultry manner that any girl would probably die if they were in my situation. My heart skipped a beat but I'm kind of used to Seungwoo-oppa. He's a natural lady-killer, he should be illegal. 

"Accept me, Aria..." He teases.

"No, Seungwoo-oppa. Stop that."

"We really can't seduce Aria..." Seungwoo-oppa said, defeated.

"It's not like she's numb or heartless..." Wooseok follows. "But to be able to write something that heartfelt and beautiful... There must be something...."

Oh... I don't think I like where this conversation is going.

"Could it be you already have someone you like, Aria?" Seungwoo-oppa asks.

I can't lift my head to look at anyone. For sure they're all watching me.

"That's a possibility." Yohan says. "Could we know who it is? Is it Seungyounie?"

I could feel that he's just teasing me but if it'll make Seungyoun uncomfortable that's what I fear. 

"It could be him..." I hear again.

Why is Seungyoun not stopping them?  
I glance up to Seungyoun only to find his expression as if he's uncomfortable.

I need to save this relationship.  
"No! Stop it guys... I don't have anyone like that." I smile.

"Really? It's a shame..."

"What do you mean, Hangyul?"

"Nothing. I just thought, you and Seungyoun are heading that way. You know? You're really close and we all could see that you're both happy when you're together. And both of you loves music and you create songs together. Aren't you guys the perfect match?"

"Hangyul, Aria and I are just friends." Seungyoun finally steps in. "Don't put meaning into our actions because there's nothing between us. We've been friends like forever and that won't change. Right, Aria?"

I could clearly hear every single word that escapes Seungyoun's mouth. And all of them are the truth. But it's painful. It's like with his every words, I'm being stabbed straight to the heart. I never thought it'll be this painful when I hear it directly from Seungyoun.

I tried to stop my tears from falling. I could feel them welling in my eyes. 

Aria, calm down...  
It's fine...  
It's fine...

It's fine...

No. I'm happy to be his best friend but i feel like I am betraying him by secretly loving him this much.

"I'm sorry. Please excuse me..."

I ran out of the room as fast as I could without looking back. Seungwoo-oppa, Yohan, and Hangyul's voice are calling my name.

Please don't follow me...

I thought over and over again as I ran nonstop until I reached the school gate. 

I stopped to catch my breath. Then, I looked behind me only to find faces I don't recognize walking, talking and laughing with their friends. 

I'm disappointed.  
And it's a lie.

I want Cho Seungyoun to follow me.

【Part Nine】  
< c h o s e u n g y o u n>

It's an understatement to say how much I love music, and creating them. Being a musician is my dream and right now my priority is to achieve that dream.

I'm grateful how my family supports me and to have friends who understands. Somehow, I could say, that I'm contented with how things are about my life right now. I've decided to devote myself with music. And with music only.

It brings joy in my everyday life so what should I ask more?

Not a while a go, I noticed that more girls are trying to confess to me but I've been fixed to my resolve that I won't date anyone yet. I'm friends with some of the girls and I did what I could so that it won't turn awkward between us. Somehow, they're all quite contented with my response even though heartbroken to say the least.   
Turning down someone does makes me a bit guilty and sad too but not to the point where I regret it. That's just how things go for me.

Until that day, Aria, my best friend, showed an expression I didn't expect.

"Hangyul, Aria and I are just friends. Don't put meaning into our actions because there's nothing between us. We've been friends like forever and that won't change. Right, Aria?"

I tried to clear the X1 boys' misunderstanding about us. I told them that because that's the truth and I thought Aria is having a bit of a hard time with their teasing. But after I said that, when I turned to look at Aria, I saw something I shouldn't've seen. 

She has her head hanging low, strands of her hair curtains part of her face but I could still see from her expression something I've never seen her make before. It's pain. As if she's trying to hold back her tears. And I don't know why i felt a pang in my chest.

That moment still hunts me even though a couple of days have already passed. And I haven't talked with Aria yet.

It was the weekend but I didn't went to her house. Usually, when I'm bored at home, I'll go to her house and spend a few hours there, playing with her brother or we would just talk or watch whatever we could find in the internet. I could ask her about the movie but I don't have the guts to go see her.  
Honestly, I don't know how to face her. What should I say? Should I pretend nothing happened that afternoon?  
How could I do that when this past 2 days all I think about is the possibility that Aria loves me more than as a friend. I waited for her to send me a message to say that was a misunderstanding but there was only silence on her part. I never seen her, never heard from her. 

"Seungyoun-hyung are you OK?" Dohyon, the youngest in our club, asks in his sincerest voice. 

"I'm fine, Dohyon. Thank you for asking." I pat his head.

"Hello everyone!" Wooseok enters the club room happily. Something good must have happened to him and he seems to be in a high spirit.

"Wooseok..." I carefully walked towards him.

"What is it, Seungyounie?"

"Does...Does Aria came to class today?"

He seems to be confused with my question. "Yes. I was with her just before I came here."

"Does she went home already?"

More confusion on his part. "I think, no. I heard Jinhyuk offering to help her with her presentation. So I think, they're at the study area." 

He pauses for a moment studying my face. "Wait... Why don't you just message her?"

"No, it's fine... I think."

He sighs. "Is it still about last Friday afternoon? You haven't talked to her yet?"

I couldn't say a word.  
Then I felt a light pat on my back. I glance up it's Seungwoo-hyung.

'You and Aria are best friends, like you've said. If you're that concern about her, it's best if you take the initiative to talk to her, Seungyoun."

"Best friends or not, make up with her. Or Jinhyuk might steal your place." Wooseok added before he runs to the kids.

I am dumbfounded a bit with Wooseok's statement, it took me a minute to process what he meant. Then I look at Seungwoo-hyung mentally asking for help.

He just shrugs. "Goodluck, Seungyoun."

Steal my place?   
He meant as Aria's best friend?

【Part Ten】  
< c h o s e u n g y o u n>

"Seungyoun, you should be behind Hangyul."

I've already lost count on how many mistakes I've made on today's practice. It's actually the first time this happened and I don't understand what's wrong with me.

"Sorry hyung. I'll keep that in mind." I can't even afford to look at Seungwoo-hyung in the eyes. He's a good and easy to be with leader but he's quite strict when it comes to practice. 

I heard him heave a deep sigh. "Let's take a break first."

Everyone left the positions as they gathered together to chat, while I can't even move from where I'm standing. My legs seems to be heavy, but my heart and mind are heavier.

"Seungyoun, can we talk?"

I follow Seungwoo-hyung to the room inside our club room. He locks the door behind him before he speaks. "What's wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong, hyung..."

Another sigh from him. Why does it feels like he'll snap any minute. "Have you talked to Aria yet?"

I stiffen. It's been 5 days and I haven't talked to her at all. In addition, it feels like she's trying to avoid me.

"Why?" He follows. The answer must have shown on my face.

"Honestly, I don't know how to face her."

"Why? Is there supposed to be another way to face her? You said so yourself, you're bestfriends?"

"She's been avoiding me."

"Look here, Seungyoun, we still doesn't know if she really likes you that way and you have to talk to clear that out. She might be thinking the same as you. She might also be worried on how to face you."

"We've never fought before so I don't know what to do..." I run my hands on the nape of my neck trying to soothe myself but to no avail.

"You didn't fought, OK? Just meet her and talk."

"What if... She tells me she likes me?"

"If she tells you she likes you, will something change between you two? If you accept her feeling, then you two could date each other. If you decided to reject her, it's up to the both of you of you want to continue your friendship. But of course that won't be easy, most especially on her part. And it might take a long time, so you have to be prepared."

"She's my best friend..."

"We know. That's why it's hard. But you have you talk and I hope you both will make up soon. Both of you are my friends, I can't just stand here while both of my friends are having a hard time."

"Thank you, Seungwoo-hyung."

"Take a rest for now. Go home or maybe find Aria and talk to her." He pats my back again while giving me his softest smile.

\---

On my way out the school building, I spotted Jinhyuk by the lockers. I thought for a while before i decided to walk towards him.

"Hi Jinhyuk."

"Oh, Seungyoun. Long time no see. Is there something I can help you with?"

"Umm... Do you know where's Aria?"

"Aria? She was with me just a while ago. But she said she has to go to her job." Jinhyuk pauses for a second. "Did the both of you fought?"

"We didn't."

"Oh yeah? But Aria wasn't her normal self this past week."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll tell you when you made up with her. It kind of worries me to see her acting like that. So even though I know I'm not in the position to tell you this, Please make up with her."

"I told you we didn't fought. But... I'll talk to her tonight."

\---  
It's 8 in the evening and here I am waiting outside Aria's work. I've been here since I left school and it's been about 4 hours. This whole time, I've been trying to think of what to say to her and imagining scenarios that might never even happen. 

It's been a week since I last saw her and I'll be lying if I say I don't miss her. Because I do, miss her. I miss hanging out with her, talking to her, teasing her, making jokes just to make her laugh. She's my best friend. The person I'm most comfortable with.

"Huh? Seungyoun?"

A look of disbelief is plastered on her face then a sense of panic washes over her. This is really unexpected if I say so myself. She's been trying to avoid me for the past week and here I am ambushing her.

"Hi. I came here to pick you up." 

"Wow... That's too kind of you..."

She seems okay... Does she, really?  
So when Jinhyuk said she's not her usual self was that an exaggeration?

"Seungyoun... There's actually something I wanted to say to you..."

<<>>


	3. Does It Bother You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cho Seungyoun is confused about his own feelings and thoughts about Aria. He's starting to notice Aria's gestures and he's starting to be aware of the guys who shows their interest for his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very busy with school :(  
I miss X1 :(

**【Part Eleven】**   
_< c h o s e u n g y o u n>_

We stopped by the nearby park, sitting on the swing under the moonlight. The breeze is cold against my skin but somehow, being together with Aria again makes me warm inside. I'm still nervous and kind of scared but Aria has always been my safest place to be. That's one reason I'm afraid to lose her.

"Did we fought?" I ask trying to break the silence.

She looks at me almost instantly then a silent laugh came out from her mouth. "Did we? I don't think we fought, Seungyoun."

"Have I done something wrong?"

The laughter is gone as instantly as it appeared. She's back looking at the ground, playing with a small stone with her foot. "You've done nothing wrong. It was me who did something really awful."

"What do you mean?"

"The truth is... I like you Seungyoun. Not as a friend. It's more than that."

I don't know why it doesn't shocked me anymore. I know the possibility of it and I used to be scared of what to do or what I might feel if I heard it from her but right now, after I heard it, I kind of felt relieved.

"But, I've been thinking this past week." She continues. "I am your best friend so I know really well how much you love music. You even told me for so many times that you have no interest in relationships yet. And I understand that very well. Because of that, I've been trying to hide what I'm feeling. And I think, I did really well until now." She lets go a breathy laugh. It made me smile too.

"I've always been scared it'll ruin our friendship if you knew about this. But now that I confessed to you, it feels like a heavy burden was lifted off of me. I didn't know that it'll feel great to say to the person you like that you like them. But I want you to know, I confessed to you but I'm not asking for that kind of relationship with you. I understand you very well Seungyoun, I am your best friend. I don't want you to be uncomfortable and worry about my feelings. More than my selfish desire to have you reciprocate my love, I just want to go back being your best friend. To go back to the way we were before this."

Her words right now are the purest I've ever heard from her. I could feel that they're all her true feelings. No lying. No hiding anything.

"Thank you for understanding me, Aria. I feel like it's a little unfair to you. You've always been the one trying to understand me, you've always been the one giving. I'm honestly really happy that I met you. I really appreciate your feelings for me. I will also be very selfish here, that even though I can't reciprocate your feelings I still want you to stay by my side as my best friend. Just like you, I'm also scared to lose you. I came here because I also want to ask you if we could make up and go back to how we were before this?"

She's quiet the whole time and the only response she did is a nod. Then I saw her shoulders shaking, followed by restrained sobs.

It's the first time I've seen her cry, as if a heavy burden was lifted off from her chest. I stay beside her as she cries. The night is serene and the only thing I could hear is the sound of her muffled crying. Then I wondered, have she always been this scared of losing our friendship? Of losing me?

After a few minutes she was able to calm herself down. She wipes her tears away before glancing at me. This time, a soft smile playing on her lips.

"You don't have to answer so let me say this for the last time... I like you so much, Cho Seungyoun."

For the last time, she said.

"For now, I can't just easily forget about this feeling but I will try my best to conceal it and I hope eventually I'll be able to forget. By then, I could honestly face you as a best friend."

I feel relieved and at the same time I could feel a knot in the pit of my stomach.

  
**【Part Twelve】**   
_< c h o s e u n g y o u n>_

"Seungwoo-oppa!"   
Aria is too enthusiastic to greet our eldest member as soon as we both entered the X1 club room. Her grin grew wider when he greeted her back with his own charismatic smile.

"Aria. I'm happy to see you."

"I'm so sorry for disturbing you the past few days..." She says sweetly. 

"It's fine, sweety. It's always my pleasure to be of help to you."  
Then I see him glance at my direction follow by a smirk, as if he's proud and happy that Aria and I made up and for taking his advice. I just smile back at him.

I'm really happy that everything is back to normal. Aria, even tho just the other night she told me how much she likes me, is not being awkward with me. It helps me too.

Soon came Hangyul and Yohan together with the younger members. They are all surprised to see Aria. They crowd up to her as if she's a celebrity. She hugs the younger members with the most genuine smile on their faces.

It's blissful to see how much my team loves her.

"Oh? A happy reunion, I see..." The last to arrive is Wooseok. "I was with Aria a while ago but let me join in the fun too."

"Would you like a hug too, Wooseok?" Aria asks, teasingly.

Wooseok takes a gander at me, who's just quietly standing at one corner watching them having fun. He pouts his lips as if trying to mock me. Or is he asking for a permission?

I just shrug my shoulders.

"Let's hug, Aria." He says in a louder voice than he usually use.

There's a shock expression on Aria's face. "Are you sure?"

"Why not?"

She steps closer to Wooseok while giggling like she couldn't believe what's happening. Wooseok pats her back gently before they break free from the hug.

"Ahhh. Aria, someone came here with me to pick you up." Wooseok exclaims as he looks at the direction of the door. 

There stands Lee Jinhyuk, who I didn't notice since I was too focused on the mini reunion. He has his eyes fixed on the group... Or is it to just one person?

"Oh Jinhyuk, why don't you come here?" Seungwoo-hyung suggests. 

"Hi, Seungwoo-hyung. I just came to pick up Aria."

There were a few "ohhh" whispered. Then some of them including Seungwoo-hyung, Hangyul and Yohan glance at me.

"Sorry Jinhyuk. I just came here to see them..." Aria explains.

"No. Don't worry Aria. Take your time. I'll be waiting here."  
Lee Jinhyuk is a nice guy. I've been friends with him for a couple of years and I have nothing bad to say about him. 

Aria excuses herself to the group and then rushes towards me.

"Seungyoun, I'll be leaving for now. I have some presentation to do and Jinhyuk there is helping me with it." She grins.

"You don't have work today?"

"Yeah, I asked for a later schedule since I have to finish my presentation."

"I see. Good luck with your presentation then."

"Thanks. Jinhyukie is a great help. So... See you tomorrow."  
She waves her small hands.

Is seems as though my feet were glued on the floor as I watch her walk away with Jinhyuk. They were laughing as they talk. And then they're out from sight.

\---  
"Hey, Seungyoun." Seungwoo-hyung sits beside me during break.

"Hey."

"Is it really fine with you?" 

"Fine with me, what?"

"You and Aria settled in being just best friends, right?"

His statement made me think for a second. "How did you know, hyung?"

He just answers me with a smile. I know he's never going to tell me how. "Is it really fine with you being just her best friend?"

"That's what we both wanted."

"Both wanted? I doubt it. It was only you who wanted that, but Aria likes you more than a friend."

By this time, I stop myself from getting surprised and confused about how hyung came to know about us. I believe he knows a lot of things about all of us. 

"Jinhyuk, that guy, I think he likes Aria."

I cant help it. I look at him baffled. 

"I think so too, Hyung." Wooseok chimes in. "I've been Jinhyuk's bestfriend and it's the first time I've seen him like that towards a girl. He's totally whipped for Aria."

"See? I'm always right!" I don't know what's to be happy about that they have to high five.

I sit quietly as I waited for the break to finish and that feeling in the pit of my stomach is there again.

  
**【Part Thirteen】**   
_< c h o s e u n g y o u n>_

After practice, I found myself standing right outside the library entrance. There's not much student inside that I instantly found Jinhyuk sitting by the window alone. He's busy reading a book. 

_'Why did I even come here?' _  
I keep asking myself as if I didn't know the answer, when in fact, I was too eager to finish the practice earlier. My mind has been confused since that talk with Seungwoo-hyung. But why do I need to be confused? I'm hundred per cent sure that I just want to stay friends with Aria. She's precious to me and I like her but not, and never, romantically.

So, what's there to be confused about? 

That conversation with Jinhyuk suddenly flashed through my mind.

_Did the both of you fought?"_

_"We didn't."_

_"Oh yeah? But Aria wasn't her normal self this past week."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"I'll tell you when you made up with her. It kind of worries me to see her acting like that. So even though I know I'm not in the position to tell you this, Please make up with her."_

I quietly enter the library and saunter towards where Jinhyuk is sitting. He is too engulfed with what he's reading that he didn't notice me even when I took the empty sit beside him.

"Hey" I whisper, calling his attention. 

Jinhyuk instantly glance at me. "Oh, Seungyoun? If you're looking for Aria she already left."

"I figured. But there's something I'd like to ask you."

"Sure. What is it?"

"The last time we talked, what did you mean by what you said?"

He pauses for a few seconds, eye brows furrow probably thinking about what I'm talking about. Then he suddenly goes 'Ahh!'

"About Aria not acting her normal self?"

"Yeah, I think it's about that."

"Hmmm... You're her best friend so I think, what I'll say is something trivial to you but last week, she was laughing more than she does, normally. I mean, she smiles a lot and she laughs when it's necessary but last week, it was as if everything was forced. And it's kind of painful to watch her do that. When she smiles, unconsciously, she'll avert her gaze, most of the times she looks down and you may not notice it unless you're watching closely, the right side of her lips slowly draws up as if smirking and then she'll smiles sheepisly yet so sweet. It's lovely."

"The way you describe her... Are you... perhaps towards Aria..." I trace my words trying to figure out if I really wanted to know his answer or rather not.

The same knot in the pit of my stomach emerges once again. I am staring at Jinhyuk and I don't know what he saw when he said...

"Does it matter to you if I am?"

\-----

I hate that Jinhyuk has to act as if he knows Aria more than I do, I am her bestfriend, I knew her way before he did, I know Aria more than anyone else. 

"Ah!" 

Aria gasped so loud it brought me back from my thoughts. I don't know when I started thinking about my conversation with Jinhyuk. 

I find Aria rummaging her bag in panic. Her face filled with worry.

"What's wrong?"

"I think, I left my wallet somewhere..." She answers without looking up at me. Still looking through her belongings.

"Huh? Could it be you left it in the lecture room?"

"Hmm... Probably. Eat without me Seungyoun. I need to go back and search for my wallet. I just got my pay last night so my allowance for the next couple of weeks is in my wallet. I can't afford to lose it now."

"I understand. But you didn't ate breakfast earlier too."

"I'm fine. I will eat as soon as I find my wallet."

"Wait. Let me call someone first."

"Who?"

I quickly search my contacts for a familiar name and click the call button. The other line rings three times before the other person picked it up.

_'Yow, Seungyoun. Can I help you with something?'_

"Has anyone surrendered a wallet there today? It's a yellow wallet with prints of music notes?"

_'There's nothing of that sort in here.'_

"I see. Could you check room 309 for the wallet for me?"

He's quiet for a second. _'The room is near here. I can check it quick.'_

"That won't do. Please search the room thoroughly please... I'll treat you sometime. Promise."

I heard him laughed out loud._ "It's a good thing we're really good friends, Seungyoun. Ok. Ok. I'll check it for you."_

"Thank you. It's Aria's wallet and she really needs it back."

_'Oh... It's Aria's. If you said it earlier I won't have second thoughts. I'm on my way to the room. Just introduce me to her if I found her wallet.'_ He teases.

I let out a breathy laugh. "Not happening."

"Ah. Seungyoun. I was sitting by the fourth row on the right side of the room." Aria says beside me.

"She said, she sat in the fourth row, right."

_"Hmmmm..."_ It became silent on the other side. Aria is looking at me with hopeful eyes. _'Ah! It's here!'_

"That's a relief! Thank you, man." Then to Aria. "He found your wallet. He's a friend who's also a student assistant in the Student Affairs office."

"Really?! Please tell him I said Thank You"

And just like that, it seems as though, Jinhyuk's words from that day repeats itself, but this time in my mind- loud and clear, as I watch Aria do exactly as what Jinhyuk described her.

  
She's looking at her feet but from my view, I could somehow see a smile forming on her right cheek then slowly, it gets wider into a grin. A sweet, shy, delicate smile.

I am still in my mesmerized state when she glances up at me with that same endearing smile she tried to hide still plastered on her face. "Thanks Seungyoun." 

"Uh? No problem. How about we eat lunch first before we pick up your wallet? My treat."

"Wow. Good things keep happening one after the other. I won't refuse such offer. So... I'll definitely order the most expensive meal set." She teases followed by her cute little giggles.

"Hey! Don't abuse my kindness!!" 

Honestly, it doesn't matter. I don't know why but I suddenly had the urge inside of me to do something to keep that smile on her face. 

We've been friends for 5 years, she's been smiling and laughing beside me but this is the first time I see, I mean REALLY see, Aria's smiling face. 

And I have to agree to Jinhyuk, it's lovely.

**【Part Fourteen】**   
_< c h o s e u n g y o u n>_

Another thought. Another question is roaming in my mind. I should be thinking about writing a new song and it's disconcerting how I've never had a single idea since that event with Aria. I thought, once we fixed it and we're okay I can finally start making a new music but look at me now, still thinking about the things that never crossed my mind before. 

"Seungwoo-hyung"

"What is it, Seungyoun?"

"Lately... I've been..." I trace my words. I'm confused at the same time flustered. "Uhmm..."

"You've been what? You can do it Seungyoun." He mocks.

"I don't know why lately, I've been noticing that there are actually other guys interested in Aria. Not only Jinhyuk. But this is the first time I've been aware that even some of my friends are kind of... You know, interested in her. I notice the way they look at her and the way they try to approach her. Even the corny jokes they try to say just to appeal on her. Why am I noticing something like that?"

That's true. Earlier when we dropped by at the Student's Affairs Office to get Aria's wallet, my friend who picked up her wallet introduced himself to her. He's been throwing hearts to her using his eyes.

He's a good guy. And funny guy too. I won't object if they actually date but with that thought, that feeling in the pit of my stomach resurfaced.

"The question here isn't why?" Seungwoo-hyung says. I stare at him waiting eagerly of what he's going to say next. "The real question is _'Does it bother you?'_"

_Does it bother me?_  
Of course not. Why would it?

"So... Does it bother you Seungyoun? That there are other guys who like Aria?"

"N-No. I'm her best friend so if one day she gets to da-" There it is again. The knot in the pit of my stomach. "..date one of them, I'll be happy for her."

"You'll be happy for her? You mean that?"

"Of course. I just hope she picks the best guy out of everyone."

"But aren't you the best guy out of everyone? She picked you anyway... Oh never mind, the best guy isn't important here. What's important is_ he'll love her_ just as much as she loves him." Seungwoo-hyung pats my shoulder, wide grin plastered on his face. "Let's be happy for her when that time comes."

He started walking to the other side of the room while I can barely move from where I'm standing. Partly confused. Partly triggered. I hate the thought that Seungwoo-hyung is trying to provoke something in me. And I have no idea, why I hate that.

"But, I think, Jinhyuk will be a very nice boyfriend for Aria. You're friends with Jinhyuk too. He's the _'best'_ guy out of everyone."

I agree. Jinhyuk is indeed the best guy for Aria. 

"Ah! Why don't we invite the two on our drinking party?"

"Why? They're not part of X1?"

"Why not? They're our friends too. Seungyoun invite Aria. I'll tell Wooseok to invite Jinhyuk too."

He already pulled out his phone and started typing on it. He might be texting Wooseok now.

I was already planning to invite Aria, but why Jinhyuk too?

"Nice. Jinhyuk said he'll come."

\---

"You don't have to come if you can't." I told Aria.   
It's already evening but I'm still hanging out in her house.

"Hmmm let me see..." She's preparing dinner. And I'm pretty sure my share is included too. She has her back on me as she cuts on some vegetables. "I don't have work on that day so I can come..."

"Really? But if you have anything else to do, don't force yourself to come."

"I'm not really busy, you know. I just finished my presentation." Her long black hair is tied in one bunch, allowing the sides of her neck to show. Small, light thuds from the knife hitting the chopping board flooded the small kitchen.

"Hmm.. well. You're not good with alcohol tho..."

The chopping abruptly halted then she turns to face me. "Are you inviting me or not?"

"Ah... Of course I'm inviting you."

"But It seems as tho you don't want me to come. I won't go if you're not comfortable with me being there."

"Hey! That isn't what I mean."

"Then what?"

What should I say?   
Can I tell her that I'm uncomfortable with Jinhyuk being there too?

"What is it? You can tell me Seungyoun. We're best friends, remember?"

I heave a sigh of defeat. "Actually, Seungwoo-hyung invited Jinhyuk too."

She tilts her head lightly as if waiting for me to drop whatever is wrong with that. When I didn't said anything she looks kind of confused. "What's wrong with that? You guys are friends with Jinhyuk too."

"There's nothing wrong. I just thought the drinking party is only for X1 members."

"But you're inviting me and I'm not even a member."

"You're my best friend."

"Fair enough. Jinhyuk is Wooseok's best friend."

That caught me off guard. _What the hell am I doing?!_

**Author's Note:**

> I have a CSY x Reader Social Media Au in twt. The title is "Life Begins at Sunsets". I'm actually planning to write a novel version of it and post it here on AO3 once its finished.
> 
> I hope you could check it out to at @/AuSeungyoun |twitter.
> 
> Thank you for reading, see you next chapter.


End file.
